


It’s Always Been Bucky

by arealrevenger



Series: Bisexual Steve Rogers [1]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers Tower, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bisexual Tony Stark, M/M, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Protective Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:36:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28399335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arealrevenger/pseuds/arealrevenger
Summary: Tony Stark teases “Captain Virgin” Steve Rogers lots. Steve, of course, can take most of his teasing. He only snaps when the teasing leads to his love life and his questionable hours at the Smithsonian (staring at Bucky’s face, but they don’t know that).
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Bisexual Steve Rogers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2079963
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	It’s Always Been Bucky

“Hey Capsicle, come out from your despair den and watch a movie with us. We’re watching Star Wars. No spoilers, we swear.”

Steve flinched involuntarily at the sudden noise in his room. He still hadn’t gotten used to the voice that seemed to speak of its own accord. It probably did. 

“Barton, NO.” Steve heard from the other end. “You know Brucie gets mad from spoilers. Barton! Just come down Cap.” Apparently Clint had been trying to give spoilers. 

About coming downstairs for the “movie night”, Steve didn’t know. The Avengers had gone on a mission the past week, and Steve had been unable to save many innocent lives. He had been holed up in his floor, only coming to the Avengers main floor to join them for dinner, or make dinner in that case because God knows no one else can cook.

When Tony had interrupted Steve’s wallowing, he had been in the middle of painting a portrait of Bucky. He normally just sketched with a pencil and notepad, but he wanted to be bold this week, and try something new.

Steve scrunched his nose, looking at Bucky’s lips. He never could draw his lips right. Steve imagined if Bucky was here today. He would be impressed by all of the technology these days, that’s for sure. 

Steve smiled, imagining Bucky’s face. He imagined if Bucky were here today. Imagined being able to tell Bucky about his fears, and imagined Bucky responding like he always did back then, something like “Baby, baby, baby. You always did worry so much. But don’t, Stevie. I’m here with you, it’ll all be fine.” His voice echoed in Steve’s head, and Steve let the voice overtake his thoughts. 

He didn’t know how long he sat there, thinking of Bucky, but he did know it was darn long because Tony’s voice came over the speakers again. 

“Cap. You coming?”

Steve snapped out of his thoughts immediately, and looked around, finally looking to the ceiling. He didn’t say anything at first, getting completely out of his head.

“Rogers? Are you good? Don’t tell me you’re sleeping.”

Steve looked over to the painting of Bucky, and gave it a longing look, wanting to continue on it, before sighing and speaking back to Tony.

“Yeah, I guess I’ll come down.” 

“Good.” 

The speakers clicked off. Jarvis though, apparently had something to say. 

“Captain Rogers, are you feeling alright? I am sensing rising levels of distress. Would you like me to notify Mr. Stark?” 

“No!” Steve said, rising to his feet a little to quickly. “No, that’s alright. I’m okay. I’m fine.” 

“If that’s what you want, sir.” 

Steve waited a moment before deciding Jarvis was done talking. He looked down at his shirt, covered in paint, and his jeans, with somehow even more paint, and many holes. 

Steve took a moment to change into some sweatpants, he still hadn’t gotten used to new fashion, but hey, they’re comfortable, and a plain grey hoodie. Obviously he wore socks, he wasn’t THAT person who let their feet stink up the place. 

He slowly walked out of his apartment and into the elevator, already feeling tired at the prospect of his teammates. He grudgingly pressed the main floor button, and stood there, willing it to take as long as it liked. 

When it opened, Steve walked in to see Clint and Natasha playing rock paper scissors, Tony scrolling through the tv, and Thor digging around in the kitchen. 

When Tony saw Steve standing there, he gave him a little salute. “Come on in Captain Virgin, you may sit. If you were wondering, Brucie is working in the lab, so don’t expect him.”

Steve rolled his eyes at the name, but walked over anyways. 

“What Star Wars movie are we watching?” He asked, sitting next to Tony.

“Any for you, my dear.” Tony said, smiling innocently at Steve. 

Steve rolled his eyes again, and chose a random title. He could say, that after that attack when Steve- well, you know, after that, Tony’s jokes seemed to be less intense. He did appreciate that. 

“Nat, you coming?” Clint said, having made his way on the couch during Tony’s teasing. 

“I’m helping Thor choose snacks.” came the reply from the kitchen. 

A few minutes later, Natasha and Thor came from the kitchen, with snacks from popcorn to pop tarts. Seriously. That was all they brought. 

Most of the movie was silent, but about thirty minutes from the end, Tony suddenly made a comment.

“Man this dude reminds me of you, Cap. All virginy, and single and stuff. Unless you have a secret girlfriend we don’t know about.” 

Even with the dark lighting, Steve could see Natasha glaring daggers at Tony from across the room.

Steve sighed, and returned his focus to the movie. 

“What, is wittle Stevie tired?” 

Steve knew Tony meant it as a joke, but he really couldn’t. 

Steve stood up and stalked out of the room, not giving any of them a second glance. 

——————————————————————————

The next day, Steve left bright and early for the Smithsonian. He liked to go earlier rather than later, less of a crowd. 

He went straight to the section that told about Bucky, and looked at the picture of him for a while, before moving on to the next area. He watched the video of him and Bucky laughing together on repeat, and before he knew it, it had been a few hours. 

He left the Smithsonian and went back to the tower. He had decided to pretend nothing of last night happened, and go up to the shared floor for some lunch. 

As soon as he stepped out onto the floor, he saw all the Avengers crowded around a laptop. 

“Finally, Rogers is back from the Smithsonian, at his own exhibit. Don’t you think it’s a bit weird to look at your own story, all the time?” 

Steve walked past them into the kitchen, and got some peanut butter and bread out of the cabinets. 

“Jarvis said, overall, you go to your exhibit about 4 times a week, at least.” 

Steve ignored him, and started spreading the peanut butter on a slice of bread.

Tony looked exasperated. “Cmon, give us SOMETHING, at least.” 

Steve plainly looked over at Tony, before picking up his peanut butter bread, and taking a bite, and walking out. 

——————————————————————————

2 weeks later 

Steve worked almost all night on Bucky’s portrait. He had to say, it looked pretty damn good. 

Steve didn’t know what was wrong with him. He didn’t want to hang out with the rest of the Avengers anymore. He could only wallow on his failures, and think of Bucky.

“Hey Steve.”

It was Natasha. She was standing at the doorway of Steve’s room. 

“Hi.” he said.

“Could you come up, please? We want to talk to you.”

“I’m busy.” He said, eyeing the book on his desk.

“Steve, please.” Her voice sounded pained and pleading. “You haven’t been yourself recently. We just want to help you.” 

Steve sighed, but stood and exited the room. 

He saw Natasha eyeing the concealed portrait as they left.

When they got up, Steve saw all the Avengers seated on the couch, not speaking.

Steve and Natasha walked over and sat down.

No one spoke, until Steve couldn’t take it.

“Why are we here? Natasha said you want to help me, but I’m fine.” 

“My dear friend, I have to say that I believe you have let yourself go.” Tony said, but without hate, looking at him with concern.

“I’ve been busy.” 

“With what?” It was Natasha. 

“Painting.”

“Steve, please. Just talk to us.” Natasha looked at him with that pleading gaze again.

“You wouldn’t fucking understand.” Steve said, rubbing his hand over his smooth face. “Besides, I haven’t let myself go so much that I didn’t shave.” 

Tony looked surprised at his language, and didn’t try to hide it. Nat on the other hand spoke up.

“I’ve seen you with a beard, and I think it’s hot.” 

“Hold on- Cap just cussed. Did none of you notice that?” 

Steve looked at them exasperated. “You see what I mean? I can’t tell you guys because you see me as Captain America with no Steve Rogers included.” 

Tony looked down at his feet, looking embarrassed.

“Just tell us, Steve. I want to help you.” Natasha reached over for his hand, and held it in both of her small ones. She gave him an encouraging smile. 

Steve finally broke down.

He put his head in his hands and let his shoulders shake with silent sobs. 

Natasha was immediately at his side, rubbing his hands, and Thor was at his other side, with an arm around his shoulders. 

“Captain, do you need any assistance?” Thor said, gently.

Steve didn’t respond, instead trying as hard as he could to stop crying. 

After a few minutes, Steve had stopped crying, and he felt ready to talk. His team needed him, and maybe he should start to need them back. 

He slowly raised his head from his hands to see Thor and Natasha still giving him physical comfort, but even more surprising was that everyone else had moved closer. Clint’s hand was now resting on his knee, and Bruce had a hand on Steve’s shoulder, also holding a glass of water for him. Tony wasn’t giving him physical comfort, but just by seeing the look in his eyes, he knew Tony felt for him.

“I’m sorry.” 

“No! No, Steve, you can talk to any of us any time!” Natasha said, putting a hand to his cheek to wipe away an escaped tear.

“Are you doing better, Captain?” Thor asked, continuing to hold Steve with an arm around him. 

“Yes, I am sorry. It’s just...” Steve trailed off, looking sideways at the ground. 

Everyone stayed silent, letting Steve get the time to figure out what to say. 

“I miss him.” 

No one seemed surprised except Natasha. She always picked up more than everyone else.

“Steve. Are you....”

The unsaid word hung in the air. 

“Yes.” 

Natasha squeezed his hands encouragingly. 

“Steve is what?” Clint asked. 

Tony and Thor also looked confused, but Bruce looked like he suddenly understood.

“I’m bisexual.” Steve said, hesitantly. 

Tony looked surprised, but he quickly covered it up and patted Steve’s shoulder. 

“I am, too. Me and Rhodes have been a thing for a few years now. Is this a confession? Well, I just confessed.” 

Thor smiled at Steve and squeezed his shoulder. Clint and Bruce both looked happy for him, and Steve was good with that.

The only person who wasn’t celebrating quietly was Natasha. As soon as Steve admitted it, it was like gears started working in her brain. While everyone else got happier, she got more horrified. 

“Steve.”

Everyone looked over to Natasha and saw with surprise that her eyes were filled with tears and she was holding a death grip on one of Steve’s hands. 

“You.... Smithsonian..... Portrait.....” She seemed to be connecting the dots. 

“Barnes.” She finally breathed out, locking eyes with Steve. 

Steve nodded, and Natasha buried her face into his shoulder. 

Apparently no one else understood what was happening. 

Steve spoke up. “I go to the Smithsonian to see his face. Bucky.” 

“I loved him since I was 14. When he died- Well, I kind of died too. Never been the same since. So, when I had the chance to leave this life, naturally I took it and crashed the plane.” 

A look of horror spread over Tony’s face, and Thor and Bruce held onto Steve tighter.

“I don’t want to live without him.” 

Tony looked pained. “And I made fun of you! And your not even a virgin, and I’m sorry, Rogers.” 

“It’s okay.” 

“What about Agent Carter?” Bruce spoke up.

“Peggy.... We used each other as cover. She was also bi, so Bucky pretended to date her girlfriend as a cover, and I did the same with her. I did love her, she was an amazing woman.” 

“Wow.... Waiiit so do you cuss?” 

Steve laughed, knowing everything would be okay with his friends by his side.

“Fuck yes.” Steve said.

(They look for Bucky where he dropped and he was preserved like Steve! I don’t know if i really wanna write that rn so let me know if you want it)

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little sad fic here:( I was listening to Heal by Tom Odell so that’s where this came from.


End file.
